theCHIVE 17+

As a long time Chiver, I have bought hundreds of dollars worth of Chive merchandise, donated plenty to their charities, enjoying their website for many years, and was thrilled when the first app appeared. I have always enjoyed the content... funny and uplifting threads, cat Saturday (where’d that go?), cute girls, interesting knowledge, comical gifs, interesting talent, and a general collection of everything you want to see online without all the crap and politics. Changes and updates to the app made some versions tough, but the Chive always redeemed themselves with fixes and better content. Until now.

Every update is greeted with more ads, more merchandising, and so many more crashes... all with less true Chive content. And their only solution is to sell me an overpriced subscription that includes a coin, fewer ads, and random discounts from their store... golly gee, mister, wow that’s awesome....

I’m quite sad this will be the last month I’ll suffer through the frustration, as I feel the Chive served me greatly through the years and has ultimately let me down. As I delete the app, I can’t help but wonder if those two brothers even care anymore.

They literally punish you with the whole “Probably the best app in the world” tag line on the screen every time you go back to the old well and try to enjoy ya some Chive. Nobody will argue that the content and the people are anything but awesome. But the complete failure to even muster a half hearted effort at providing an app that even works at a mediocre level is astonishing. You can google it yourself and see nothing but an avalanche of complaints and comments from almost every person on the planet who has used the app and it’s an utter dumpster fire. It never works. Can’t open images or gifs. Crashes almost every time. It literally is almost self-defeating to even try to open it. You just want some DAR or memes or some crap and somehow you find yourself angry, disappointed, and borderline enraged by the time you’ve reloaded the app 4 times to try to see the freakin pics on a juicy thread or post. Save yourself the agony and just bookmark the Safari link to the Chive online. Trust me you’ll be thankful. Or if you are the kind of person that loves standing in line to find out they sold the last item to the person in front of you, or arriving at your favorite restaurant to find out they are closed that day, or opening up your one present on Christmas morning to find it is an empty box and a cruel joke.....well, then download the app and you’ll be repeatedly abused.

John...Mac...and the rest of the guys and ladies that power the Chive machine, you have failed us. I personally chose the Chive back in 2013 so that I could have a positive perspective on the goings on around the world. I was turned on to you guys by a fellow medic and it was an immediate love. I have seen your move to Austin and was filled with the warm feels when I see what is being done for my fellow vets and also those who are in need. But you have FAILED US. You stood tall when there needed to be a voice for net neutrality as well as the blue grinch known as Facebook...BUT YOU HAVE FAILED US. We, the Chive Nation, use your app as a get away or as a substitute for social media, we come to you to get away from the constant bombardment from ads and the mainstream chase of the almighty dollar. With the app in its current iteration, I can’t even sit for longer than two minutes without have to cut off intrusive ads. There has to be a better way. PLEEEEASE for the love of all that is holy...cut it out. Get back to what made you the Chris Farley’s of this world, and quit using us, the Chivers and Chivettes as your ad guinea pigs.